Milestones

and a recipe for the best chocolate birthday cake (sprinkles optional)

In the race of time that is life, milestones matter.

I’ve written here before about the importance of celebrating every moment, every achievement, not waiting for a special number or event to make a fuss. But it’s undeniable that a round number—whether 30, 50 or 80—seems to have greater import. A natural opportunity to reflect, look back, hope forward.

Past lives, future, present

Over the Thanksgiving table last night, we were debating about what happens when we go. Some were firmly in the camp that once you die, that’s it. No afterlife, no heaven or hell. Others believed that energy is infinite: that the life spark that gives us breath returns to the ethos, becoming part of the greater whole.

Still others were in the past lives camp, the notion that we’ve been here before, some of us many times. Old souls vs. newbies, reincarnating until we get to a final state of nirvana.

As I listened to the debate, I wondered whether our belief has any material impact on how we’re living today, in the here and now. If you believe you’ll be back for a second round, is there less of a sense of urgency? If your energy is part of the greater cosmos, are you more attuned to the earth’s cycles, the ebb and flow of the ocean, the movement of the stars? And if this is your one and only time around the sun, are you grabbing every opportunity, every moment with both hands?

It takes a more evolved being than me to ferret out the answers to these questions. So let me share what the milestone birthday boy thought about it all.

Finite resources, infinite possibilities

If you believe in past lives, as he does, Richard is one of those old souls amongst us. Both deeply empathetic and firmly pragmatic, he manages to strike the right balance in dealing with both life’s joys and thorny problems. No wonder that he is a Libra, the sign of the scales.

As he’s approached another milestone birthday, it’s not been lost on him that time is finite, no matter how many times he may travel back. With his heightened awareness, he continually makes slow measured transitions: transitions in thinking, acting, being.

One central belief has emerged from this introspection. As he says, “My energy is finite, my resources are finite and my time is finite. That guides my choices and informs my actions. What may have felt worthwhile even five years ago is no longer important. It makes life easier and more fulfilling.”

Me, the newbie in the relationship, tries to learn from this simple concept. When you use a finer filter, what emerges is a purer substance. Not fewer choices, but infinitely better ones. Is it coincidence or fate that Richard’s birthday always falls around Thanksgiving, a time of thankfulness and mindfulness so dear to him?

As we get older, and those milestone moments seem to happen faster, perhaps the trick is to be continuously evolving, transitioning to who we want to be, the best version of ourselves every day. The urgency that comes with aging, that time is running faster, can’t necessarily be abated, but we can harness its energy and use it to fuel our growth.

The best chocolate birthday cake

Lisa Donovan, New York Times

serves 12

Richard wanted only one thing for his birthday, and that was chocolate cake. For such a simple thing, chocolate cake may well be one of the most disappointing of desserts. Sometimes dry, sometimes too sweet, or too dense and heavy, it’s no wonder that cake mixes remain popular.

Then there’s frosting vs. icing vs. glaze. Frosting is thick and creamy, icing is a bit more runny and hardens as it dries, while a glaze is usually just confectioner’s sugar mixed with a liquid, which will set slightly but won't harden. What to choose?

For me, the perfect balance—and the perfect chocolate cake—is a layer cake made up of layers of moist yet firm cake that’s the vehicle for just sweet enough buttercream frosting. What can elevate a good old-fashioned chocolate cake with old-fashioned buttercream frosting status are colourful sprinkles and baby rosettes of frosting.

But don’t be distracted by the frou frou finishes. When cake is this good, you can keep it simple and still have a very happy audience.

A note on frosting the cake: Making the cake is easy. Frosting it can be another matter entirely. I have found the cake baking tutorials from Sugar and Sparrow to be easy to follow and fun to watch—even when I don’t attempt the more complicated creations. This was my first attempt at smoothing a cake’s frosting and adding sprinkles and it was easier than I thought. But this cake will be just as delicious if you frost it any old way.

Ingredients

Nonstick cooking spray

1 cup (120 gr) unsweetened Dutch-processed cocoa powder, plus more for pans

3½ cups (700 gr) grams granulated sugar

2¾ cups (365 gr) all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1½ teaspoons fine salt

1½ cups hot coffee or hot water

3 large eggs, beaten

1½ cups buttermilk

¾ cup canola or other neutral oil

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

For the frosting

The recipe below makes about 5 cups of frosting. Feel free to use your favourite frosting recipe instead.

1 cup (230 g) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 cup (190 g) shortening

8 cups (920 g) confectioner’s sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 tablespoons water or heavy cream, more as needed

½ cup cocoa powder

¼ teaspoon salt, more to taste

1. Heat oven to 325 degrees. Coat three 9-inch round cake pans with nonstick cooking spray. Cut three rounds of parchment paper to fit the bottom of each pan and line each pan with one. Spray the parchment. Sprinkle the pans with cocoa powder to coat, tapping each pan over the sink or trash can to shake loose any excess. Set aside.

2. In a very large bowl, whisk together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Make a well in the centre.

3. Whisk the eggs, buttermilk, oil and vanilla together in a medium bowl. Pour into the dry mixture and whisk gently until incorporated. It will be a bit clumpy but gently work it in. Pour in the hot coffee or water to loosen the batter and gently whisk to combine, being careful not to splash.

4. Divide the batter evenly among the prepared pans. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with a few crumbs, 30 to 35 minutes. Set the pans on a wire rack to cool.

5. When cakes are cooled, turn the cakes out of their pans and discard the parchment. Trim any rounded top off of each as evenly as possible.

Make the frosting:

1. In a stand mixer, combine the butter and shortening in a large mixer bowl and beat until smooth and creamy.

2. Whisk the cocoa and confectioner’s sugar together; divide in two. Add about half of the confectioner’s sugar mixture to the stand mixer until smooth and well combined.

3. Add the vanilla extract and 2 tablespoons of water or cream and mix until smooth and well combined.

4. Add the remaining confectioner’s sugar mixture and salt and mix until smooth and well combined.

5. Add more water or cream until desired consistency is reached (Whitney Depaoli from Sugar and Sparrow recommends testing consistency by dipping your spatula into the frosting and observing the shape of the peak. It should be a soft peak that holds its shape for at least a few seconds when you turn it right side up). Taste and add more salt if needed.

Assemble the cake (see Note about frosting a cake above)

6. Scoop about ¾ cup of frosting on one layer set on a cake plate, then repeat with the second and third layers. Frost the outside of the cake with the remaining frosting. Decorate with sprinkles if desired. This cake keeps at room temperature for up to 2 days and stores well in the refrigerator for up to one week. It is best served at room temperature but can also be served cold.