Life through a beautiful lens

and a recipe for old-fashioned date squares that Lise would have loved

My mother-in-law Lise had a passion for experimenting with new recipes.

When it came to family dinners and birthday gatherings, she’d always introduce a fresh dish to the table. No matter that the birthday celebrant may have requested a favourite. Part of the joy of bringing us together was the thrill of the hunt for the next great thing. Sometimes, depending on the complexity of the recipe, she might do a practice run first. Lise always wanted to get it just right.

When we topped up for seconds and cleaned our plates, that was the icing on the cake. “That was so much fun to make,” she’d say, her beautiful smile beaming. “I’d do that again.” But she never would. After all, why repeat something delicious when there might be a dish even better waiting to be discovered?

Life through a beautiful lens

“To love beauty is to see light.”

—Victor Hugo

At its heart, Lise’s seeking spirit was rooted in the quest for beauty. That beauty could take any form to satisfy her yearning. Flowers in abundance, whether in the form of a bouquet or a stroll in a garden. Music of every type, from opera and Tony Bennett, to Joe Dassin and disco. Her training in ballroom dancing had her swaying to the beat, no matter the rhythm, her signature gold bangles making music too and keeping time with her expressive hands.

And the sun, always the sun. Its joyful rays lifted her up as she basked in the warmth. When the sun was shining, its light filled Lise with buoyancy, and she radiated it back in turn.

Lise was never happier than when she could spend time with Richard

In the shadows

Lise left this earth a week ago. Unlike our beloved Lucia, the winding down of her time was protracted, cruel in its indifference to the slow loss of self that is the curse of dementia.

Still, even to the end, small things brought Lise great delight. With childlike awe, she marvelled at the towering trees, the billowing clouds, the soaring birds, seeing each thing anew as if for the first time.

Such pleasures and delights may seem like meagre crumbs thrown to a diminished mind. Yet, still, in the radiance of her smile, in the gladness in her voice and in the warmth of her caress, Lise never lost her love of the beauty around her, no matter how minute. I imagine in her new heavenly home, surrounded by her five siblings and her adored mother. And the laugh of joy I hear is a beacon call to seek beauty to the end.

Old-fashioned date squares

Betty Crocker

makes 18 squares

While Lise delighted in the new, there were some staples in her repertoire of dishes that she made again and again. Dozens of tourtieres at Christmastime; the best gravy; creamy mashed potatoes and apple pie. But what I remember most are the assorted sweets that she adored making: Hello Dollies, black and whites, lemon bars and perhaps her favourite: date squares. Almost too sweet but not enough to stop Richard from taking two or three.

While I was never able to get the recipe from her, I imagine that this classic Betty Crocker version is pretty close. What I do know is that they would have brought her great delight and that dimpled smile we loved so well.

Note: The recipe can easily be cut in half. Use an 8x8 square baking pan.

Ingredients

Date filling

3 cups chopped pitted dates (1 lb)

1½ cups water

¼ cup granulated sugar

Topping and base

1 cup packed brown sugar

1 cup butter, softened

1¾ cups all-purpose flour

1½ cups quick-cooking oats

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

1. Heat oven to 400°F. Grease bottom and sides of 13x9-inch pan with butter.

2. In 2-quart saucepan, cook filling ingredients over low heat about 10 minutes, stirring constantly, until thickened. Cool 5 minutes.

3. In large bowl, stir brown sugar and butter with a wooden spoon or spatula until well mixed. Stir in flour, oats, baking soda and salt and combine until crumbly. Your hands may be the best tool for this. Press half of the crumb mixture evenly in bottom of pan. Spread with date filling. Top evenly with remaining crumb mixture; press down lightly.

4. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 5 minutes in pan on cooling rack. Cut into squares while warm.