Changing the measure of success

and a recipe for the simplest of broccoli salads that everyone can master

Yesterday I had a moment of deep failure.

With my hands full of wet clay, I sat in front of my potter’s wheel, unable to coax that stubborn mass into even the simplest of shapes. Around me the other students industriously worked, making vases covered with whorls of patterns, elegant serving dishes, pretty bowls. The instructor could see my frustration, but could only try and explain the process one more time. This was a case where I needed to do it myself to try and get it right.

For a moment, I wanted to throw in the towel - or in this case, my clay-covered apron. But in that moment, I realized something important: my failure was an impossible yardstick, a measure against others who had more skill and patience than me. A self-imposed determination of what good looks like.

It made me pause and think about what motivates us to keep trying, despite our own limitations.

Practice makes perfect

In the kitchen, I’m constantly failing. Maybe too much salt, not enough browning, a flavour combination that sounded good on paper, disappointed in execution. Those are failures I take in stride, with either enough experience to make a fix, or enough confidence to know that it’s a dish I’ll not do again. The disappointment comes not from a failing of mine.

It’s my own little area of mastery, the accumulation of hours of practice that Malcolm Gladwell talks about in Outliers. As he says, “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”

I don’t fret about those kitchen missteps. They’re gifts, moments where I learn and grow, and become better with every recipe made.

And yet when it comes to areas where we’re novices, students on a journey, we humans have a tendency to compare and contrast. To look at others as a determination of our own success. That can lead to a question about our value, worth, and even more deeply, happiness. It‘s a slippery slope of self-talk that creates an echo chamber, not a cheering section.

So, today, be kind. Celebrate your learner’s journey. Savour easy wins, instant understanding; celebrate even more when you have a break through, an ah-ha moment, a perfectly shaped clay bowl.

As spring approaches, and I start to see the tiny crocus shoots push through the ground, I’m looking forward to spending time in one of my favourite classrooms - the garden. It’s a place of both great confidence and apprentice-level learning. I’ll start my tomato seeds once again, nursing the tender greens, and hope for a harvest of even one or two. After all, my parents spent a lifetime learning to grow the most perfect tomatoes. I’ve got many more hours to clock before I reach that level. And that makes every tomato taste even sweeter.

Broccoli salad with garlic and sesame

Modified from an original from Melissa Clark

Serves 2-4 (see headnote)

I’ve been making this delicious salad ever since it appeared in the New York Times in 2008, the original clipping stained and tattered, showing strong evidence of its popularity. Although the recipe says it serves 6-8, I think you’ll find that two very hungry people, or four moderately hungry ones, can make short work of this dish, especially if it’s your only side. Add some chicken and make it a very satisfying main. It’s a recipe even a kitchen novice can master.

With broccoli as the sole ingredient, and no cooking required, it’s a perfect any-time-of-the-year recipe. Using the same principle as ceviche, raw broccoli florets are tossed with red wine vinegar and salt, which softens and blanches the broccoli, while the slightly Asian and bold garlic, sesame, chile flakes, cumin seed and olive oil vinaigrette permeates the florets with deep flavour. Be sure to make it ahead so it can sit at room temperature for at least an hour. As you see the broccoli becoming a bright emerald green, you’ll be tempted to start picking at the flavourful florets. Be careful - you may find the salad all gone by the time dinner time rolls around.

Ingredients

1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

1 teaspoon kosher salt

2 heads broccoli, 1 pound each, cut into bite-size florets

½ cup extra virgin olive oil

1 fat garlic clove, minced

2 teaspoons cumin seeds

1 tablespoon roasted sesame oil

Large pinch crushed red pepper flakes

1. In a large bowl, stir together the vinegar and salt until the salt is dissolved. Add broccoli and toss to combine.

2. In a medium skillet, heat olive oil until hot, but not smoking. Add garlic and cumin and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Remove from heat and stir in sesame oil and pepper flakes. Pour the mixture over the broccoli and toss well. Let sit for at least 1 hour at room temperature. Toss again before serving. The salad will keep for up to two days; be sure to refrigerate it if you are keeping it for more than 2 hours before serving.